How should I respond to friends and loved ones who may be contemplating suicide? - Suicide - TouchPoints

2 Samuel 17:23When Ahithophel realized that his advice had not been followed, he saddled his donkey, went to his hometown, set his affairs in order, and hanged himself.

Ahithophel committed suicide by hanging himself—but not before setting his affairs in order. Some suicides are planned out, and such suicides are often accompanied by warning signs: giving away belongings, making a will, saying goodbyes, and withdrawing from relationships. If we have loved ones who are struggling, we should watch for warning signs that they may be giving up on life.

Ruth 1:4-16About ten years later, both Mahlon and Kilion died. This left Naomi alone, without her two sons or her husband. . . . But Ruth clung tightly to Naomi. “Look,” Naomi said to her, “your sister-in-law has gone back to her people and to her gods. You should do the same.” But Ruth replied, “Don’t ask me to leave you and turn back. Wherever you go, I will go; wherever you live, I will live. Your people will be my people, and your God will be my God.”

Naomi felt bitter and hopeless—in fact, she even told people to call her “Mara,” which means “bitter.” Naomi felt that Ruth would be better off starting a new life without her, and she tried to push Ruth away. Naomi listed out reason after reason for why Ruth should leave. Yet Ruth stayed. This didn’t change Naomi’s bitterness or cure her grief, but Ruth’s quiet hope and love kept Naomi afloat during her grieving. In time, with the help of Ruth’s faithfulness, Naomi learned to have joy again.

Proverbs 27:5The heartfelt counsel of a friend is as sweet as perfume and incense.

Galatians 6:2Share each other’s burdens, and in this way obey the law of Christ.

Ephesians 4:15Instead, we will speak the truth in love.

If you suspect a friend or family member is contemplating suicide, don’t be afraid to ask them. An honest conversation will not encourage more suicidal thoughts—instead, it will offer them a lifeline. Be present with them, offer them hope and encouragement, and communicate your love for them.

Luke 10:34-35“Going over to him, the Samaritan soothed his wounds with olive oil and wine and bandaged them. Then he put the man on his own donkey and took him to an inn, where he took care of him. The next day he handed the innkeeper two silver coins, telling him, ‘Take care of this man. If his bill runs higher than this, I’ll pay you the next time I’m here.’”

Like the good Samaritan, we can care for others as the opportunity allows; yet like the good Samaritan, we may not have the availability (or even the skill) to provide all the help that person needs. The Samaritan was on a trip, and his schedule didn’t allow for him to stay with the man for days as he healed, so the Samaritan entrusted the injured man with the innkeeper. Don’t be afraid to seek help for a suicidal friend. You are not responsible for keeping another person alive, and often, the best thing you can do is to bring in someone more equipped to meet their needs.

Proverbs 17:27A truly wise person uses few words; a person with understanding is even-tempered.

Proverbs 18:13Spouting off before listening to the facts is both shameful and foolish.

1 Corinthians 16:14Do everything with love.

If someone shares that they are suicidal, don’t respond with judgment or belittle the significance of their feelings. They likely already feel ashamed, and sharing with you is likely difficult. Take time to listen. Your compassion will speak more than arguments.

Ephesians 4:15-16Instead, we will speak the truth in love, growing in every way more and more like Christ, who is the head of his body, the church. He makes the whole body fit together perfectly. As each part does its own special work, it helps the other parts grow, so that the whole body is healthy and growing and full of love.

Hebrews 10:25Let us not neglect our meeting together, as some people do, but encourage one another, especially now that the day of his return is drawing near.

Community offers us strength where we are weak, encouragement when we feel hopeless, and love when we feel alone. If you know someone who is wrestling with suicidal thoughts, be sure to check in on them and invite them to be part of a community, whether that be church, a friend group, or some other social context. Sometimes, they may resist, but the reminder that they are wanted and not forgotten will not go unnoticed.