How can I most effectively deal with a hurtful or shameful past?

Genesis 33:4Then Esau ran to meet him [Jacob] and embraced him, threw his arms around his neck, and kissed him. And they both wept.

Genesis 50:15, 19-21Joseph replied, “Don’t be afraid of me. Am I God, that I can punish you? You intended to harm me, but God intended it all for good. He brought me to this position so I could save the lives of many people.”

Matthew 5:23-24“So if you are presenting a sacrifice at the altar in the Temple and you suddenly remember that someone has something against you, leave your sacrifice there at the altar. Go and be reconciled to that person. Then come and offer your sacrifice to God.”

Matthew 18:21-22Then Peter came to him and asked, “Lord, how often should I forgive someone who sins against me? Seven times?” “No, not seven times,” Jesus replied, “but seventy times seven!”

Luke 23:34Jesus said, “Father, forgive them, for they don’t know what they are doing.”

Forgiving is essential to the healing process. As you release those hurts, you are free to be healed and to grow beyond the pain. Being free from the past in this way makes it possible to free others when they realize they need forgiveness.

Genesis 41:51Joseph named his older son Manasseh, for he said, “God has made me forget all my troubles and everyone in my father’s family.”

Zechariah 8:13Among the other nations, Judah and Israel became symbols of a cursed nation. But no longer! Now I will rescue you and make you both a symbol and a source of blessing. So don’t be afraid. Be strong, and get on with rebuilding the Temple!

When you dwell on the past, it is hard to forget it and move on. Deal with the pain of the past so you can receive the healing God wants to give you today, and so you can move forward toward a future of joy and blessing. Bring your past to God. He was there. Ask him to help you see the good he brought and the good he can still bring out of the pain. In Joseph’s case, he could still recall the events and the perpetrators, but now he could see that God was using what they intended for evil to develop his own character and provide a future for their family.