What will help to heal my pain? - Pain - TouchPoints

Psalm 25:17-18My problems go from bad to worse. Oh, save me from them all! Feel my pain and see my trouble. Forgive all my sins.

Psalm 130:1From the depths of despair, O Lord, I call for your help.

Psalm 143:7-8Come quickly, Lord, and answer me, for my depression deepens. Don’t turn away from me, or I will die. Let me hear of your unfailing love each morning, for I am trusting you. Show me where to walk, for I give myself to you.

Mark 14:34-36He [Jesus] told them, “My soul is crushed with grief to the point of death. Stay here and keep watch with me.” He went on a little farther and fell to the ground. He prayed that, if it were possible, the awful hour awaiting him might pass him by. “Abba, Father,” he cried out, “everything is possible for you. Please take this cup of suffering away from me. Yet I want your will to be done, not mine.”

Acknowledge your pain honestly to God in prayer. Even Jesus knew what it was like to long for relief in the middle of painful events. We can tell God our deepest desires while at the same time expressing our confidence that he ultimately knows best. This is how you begin the process of healing.

Genesis 50:1-13Joseph threw himself on his father and wept over him and kissed him.

2 Samuel 18:33The king [David] was overcome with emotion. He went up to the room over the gateway and burst into tears. And as he went, he cried, “O my son Absalom! My son, my son Absalom! If only I had died instead of you! O Absalom, my son, my son.”

Ecclesiastes 3:4A time to cry and a time to laugh. A time to grieve and a time to dance.

Mark 16:10She [Mary Magdalene] went to the disciples, who were grieving and weeping, and told them what had happened.

Acts 20:37They all cried as they embraced and kissed him [Paul] good-bye.

1 Thessalonians 4:13Now, dear brothers and sisters, we want you to know what will happen to the believers who have died so you will not grieve like people who have no hope.

Express your pain and don’t try to keep it in. Grief is a natural and necessary process in responding to deep loss and pain. Expression of feelings can bring healing and relief.

1 Samuel 5:6-7Then the Lord’s heavy hand struck the people of Ashdod and the nearby villages with a plague of tumors. When the people realized what was happening, they cried out, “We can’t keep the Ark of the God of Israel here any longer! He is against us! We will all be destroyed along with Dagon, our god.”

2 Samuel 13:12“No, my brother!” she cried. “Don’t be foolish! Don’t do this to me! Such wicked things aren’t done in Israel.”

Psalm 139:23-24Search me, O God, and know my heart; test me and know my anxious thoughts. Point out anything in me that offends you, and lead me along the path of everlasting life.

John 9:2-3“Rabbi,” his disciples asked him, “why was this man born blind? Was it because of his own sins or his parents’ sins?” “It was not because of his sins or his parents’ sins,” Jesus answered. “This happened so the power of God could be seen in him.”

Determine the source of your pain. It may be a consequence of your own sin, or it may be someone else who has hurt you. As you seek God’s strength, healing, and comfort in prayer and talk with others (family, close friends, trained counselors), the source of your pain will become clear. Only then can you develop a good plan for dealing with it.

Psalm 19:8The commandments of the Lord are right, bringing joy to the heart. The commands of the Lord are clear, giving insight for living.

Psalm 119:28, 50, 52, 92I weep with sorrow; encourage me by your word. . . . Your promise revives me; it comforts me in all my troubles. . . . I meditate on your age-old regulations; O Lord, they comfort me. . . . If your instructions hadn’t sustained me with joy, I would have died in my misery.

Immerse yourself in God’s Word and find encouragement, revival, comfort, joy, and insight. Time spent studying, memorizing, and meditating on Scripture will not only help you respond to the immediate crisis; it will also prepare, strengthen, and equip you for further challenges.

Romans 8:19-25We believers also groan, even though we have the Holy Spirit within us as a foretaste of future glory, for we long for our bodies to be released from sin and suffering. We, too, wait with eager hope for the day when God will give us our full rights as his adopted children, including the new bodies he has promised us. We were given this hope when we were saved. (If we already have something, we don’t need to hope for it. But if we look forward to something we don’t yet have, we must wait patiently and confidently.)

2 Peter 3:11-14Since everything around us is going to be destroyed like this, what holy and godly lives you should live, looking forward to the day of God and hurrying it along. On that day, he will set the heavens on fire, and the elements will melt away in the flames. But we are looking forward to the new heavens and new earth he has promised, a world filled with God’s righteousness. And so, dear friends, while you are waiting for these things to happen, make every effort to be found living peaceful lives that are pure and blameless in his sight.

Don’t give up hope or give in to the kind of thinking that convinces you God doesn’t care. If you believe God doesn’t care, you push away the One who can help you the most. Be bold to declare God’s sovereignty even in the face of apparent overwhelming evidence to the contrary. The big picture is an eternal one, not an limited earthly one.

1 Peter 4:1-2So then, since Christ suffered physical pain, you must arm yourselves with the same attitude he had, and be ready to suffer, too. For if you have suffered physically for Christ, you have finished with sin. You won’t spend the rest of your lives chasing your own desires, but you will be anxious to do the will of God.

Develop a godly perspective towards pain. This helps you focus less on the pain itself (which can cause bitterness and discouragement) and more on how this pain can help you develop stronger character and greater sensitivity to others who may be hurting. Ask God to help you see what he is doing and can do in and through your pain, rather than simply asking for the pain to be removed.

1 Samuel 3:19As Samuel grew up, the Lord was with him, and everything Samuel said proved to be reliable.

Psalm 37:30-31The godly offer good counsel; they teach right from wrong. They have made God’s law their own, so they will never slip from his path.

Proverbs 10:20The words of the godly are like sterling silver; the heart of a fool is worthless.

Proverbs 12:15Fools think their own way is right, but the wise listen to others.

Proverbs 27:9The heartfelt counsel of a friend is as sweet as perfume and incense.

Romans 15:14I am fully convinced, my dear brothers and sisters, that you are full of goodness. You know these things so well you can teach each other all about them.

1 Corinthians 12:8To one person the Spirit gives the ability to give wise advice; to another the same Spirit gives a message of special knowledge.

Colossians 3:16Let the message about Christ, in all its richness, fill your lives. Teach and counsel each other with all the wisdom he gives.

Seek help from godly counselors. Sometimes it is enough to get advice from trusted friends and family. At other times it is necessary to talk with a trained counselor who can help you pinpoint your pain and provide effective ways, in accordance with God’s Word, to deal with it. Take special note of those in your life who demonstrate over time that God has given them a unique gift of wise, godly counsel.

Psalm 30:11-12You have turned my mourning into joyful dancing. You have taken away my clothes of mourning and clothed me with joy, that I might sing praises to you and not be silent.

Lamentations 3:32-33Though he brings grief, he also shows compassion because of the greatness of his unfailing love. For he does not enjoy hurting people or causing them sorrow.

Revelation 21:1-4Then I saw a new heaven and a new earth, for the old heaven and the old earth had disappeared. . . . I heard a loud shout from the throne, saying, “Look, God’s home is now among his people! He will live with them, and they will be his people. God himself will be with them. He will wipe every tear from their eyes, and there will be no more death or sorrow or crying or pain. All these things are gone forever.”

Recognize that pain will not go on forever. Make it a practice to acknowledge to yourself and others that “this too shall pass.” In heaven, there will be no more pain.

Matthew 18:21-22Then Peter came to him and asked, “Lord, how often should I forgive someone who sins against me? Seven times?” “No, not seven times,” Jesus replied, “but seventy times seven!”

Mark 11:25“But when you are praying, first forgive anyone you are holding a grudge against, so that your Father in heaven will forgive your sins, too.”

Luke 17:3-4“So watch yourselves! If another believer sins, rebuke that person; then if there is repentance, forgive. Even if that person wrongs you seven times a day and each time turns again and asks forgiveness, you must forgive.”

Luke 23:34Jesus said, “Father, forgive them, for they don’t know what they are doing.”

Colossians 3:13Make allowance for each other’s faults, and forgive anyone who offends you. Remember, the Lord forgave you, so you must forgive others.

Forgiving those who have sinned against us does wonders for removing the pain of hurt, anger, and bitterness in our hearts. When we fail to forgive others, it prolongs our pain without accomplishing anything worthwhile.

Proverbs 20:22Don’t say, “I will get even for this wrong.” Wait for the Lord to handle the matter.

Luke 6:28“Bless those who curse you. Pray for those who hurt you.”

1 Peter 3:9Don’t repay evil for evil. Don’t retaliate with insults when people insult you. Instead, pay them back with a blessing. That is what God has called you to do, and he will grant you his blessing.

Bless those who cause you pain. Retaliation, revenge, and unforgiveness only compound your pain and leave you in bondage to past hurts.

1 Thessalonians 3:7-8So we have been greatly encouraged in the midst of our troubles and suffering, dear brothers and sisters, because you have remained strong in your faith. It gives us new life to know that you are standing firm in the Lord.

Be encouraged by watching others in pain remain strong in their faith to the Lord. Pain, like worry, and be significantly alleviated by intentionally looking for evidence of God at work elsewhere (see Matthew 6:32-33).

2 Corinthians 2:5I am not overstating it when I say that the man who caused all the trouble hurt all of you more than he hurt me.

Philippians 2:4Don’t look out only for your own interests, but take an interest in others, too.

Hebrews 4:15-16This High Priest of ours understands our weaknesses, for he faced all of the same testings we do, yet he did not sin. So let us come boldly to the throne of our gracious God. There we will receive his mercy, and we will find grace to help us when we need it most.

Realize others may be hurting, too. Be sensitive to them and their pain, taking the focus off of yourself. Let deep compassion for others be one of the bi-products of your pain, imitating what Jesus himself did.