How can I help others who are grieving?
Psalm 69:20Their insults have broken my heart, and I am in despair. If only one person would show some pity; if only one would turn and comfort me.
Proverbs 25:20Singing cheerful songs to a person with a heavy heart is like taking someone’s coat in cold weather or pouring vinegar in a wound.
Romans 12:15Be happy with those who are happy, and weep with those who weep.
We should offer our attention, sympathy, and comfort to the grieving. Pretending that the pain is not there is like rubbing salt in a wound. It is difficult to be with someone who is grieving, but we don’t need to come up with the right words to make it all go away. We cannot. Our concern and silent presence will help a grieving person more than words.
Job 30:16“And now my life seeps away. Depression haunts my days.”
Proverbs 15:13A glad heart makes a happy face; a broken heart crushes the spirit.
Proverbs 17:22A cheerful heart is good medicine, but a broken spirit saps a person’s strength.
Be aware of the toll that being brokenhearted takes on a person’s spirit, mind, and body. Awareness leads to sympathy, sympathy leads to comforting the wounded, and that comfort leads to healing.
Romans 12:15Be happy with those who are happy, and weep with those who weep.
Sensitivity to the feelings of others is needed. We can feel others’ sorrow as surely as we can feel their joy. Being too cheery when others are grieving will only make them feel worse. On the other hand, honoring someone’s sadness with sadness of our own can be helpful.
2 Corinthians 1:4He [God] comforts us in all our troubles so that we can comfort others. When they are troubled, we will be able to give them the same comfort God has given us.
When comforting someone in grief, reflect on how you have experienced grief in the past. Everyone’s grief is unique, and different people find comfort in different ways, but our own grief can provide a starting place for empathy. What brought you comfort? How did God work in your life during that time? How can you bring that same comfort into this person’s life?
1 Peter 5:12I have written and sent this short letter to you with the help of Silas, whom I commend to you as a faithful brother. My purpose in writing is to encourage you and assure you that what you are experiencing is truly part of God’s grace for you. Stand firm in this grace.
Encourage the brokenhearted. Words of comfort can lift a hurting person.
Job 16:2“I have heard all this before. What miserable comforters you are!”
Job 21:34“How can your empty clichés comfort me? All your explanations are lies!”
Be careful about the words you use with those who are grieving. Explanations and clichés are rarely comforting.
Job 2:13They sat on the ground with him for seven days and nights. No one said a word to Job, for they saw that his suffering was too great for words.
Ecclesiastes 4:12A person standing alone can be attacked and defeated, but two can stand back-to-back and conquer. Three are even better, for a triple-braided cord is not easily broken.
Our suffering friends urgently need our love, sympathy, and the power of our quiet presence. Sometimes the best comfort we can give is simply to be there.
Job 42:11Then all his [Job’s] brothers, sisters, and former friends came and feasted with him in his home. And they consoled him and comforted him because of all the trials the Lord had brought against him. And each of them brought him a gift of money and a gold ring.
Psalm 68:6God places the lonely in families; he sets the prisoners free and gives them joy. But he makes the rebellious live in a sun-scorched land.
Mark 16:10She [Mary of Magdalene] went to the disciples, who were grieving and weeping, and told them what had happened.
As family and friends, we have been ideally placed by God to support someone who is suffering in grief. If we are wise, we can be a safe haven from a wounding world for our grieving loved ones.
