What are the early signs of bitterness? - Bitterness - TouchPoints

1 Samuel 18:8This made Saul very angry. “What’s this?” he said. “They credit David with ten thousands and me with only thousands. Next they’ll be making him their king!”

Anger is the seed of bitterness. Others may have no idea that we are angry with them or why we are bitter toward them. Saul was angry because David was receiving praise he thought should go to him. But once the seed is planted, bitterness doesn’t stay hidden: After Saul had tried to kill David several times, David could see that his king wanted to take his life. And Saul wanted to destroy David even though David had consistently pledged his loyalty to Saul and didn’t know what he had done to offend the king. Bitterness makes it increasingly difficult to see and understand God or the other people in our lives.

Genesis 31:1-2Jacob soon learned that Laban’s sons were grumbling about him. “Jacob has robbed our father of everything!” they said. “He has gained all his wealth at our father’s expense.” And Jacob began to notice a change in Laban’s attitude toward him.

Resentment is the taproot of bitterness. We can express resentment by blaming others and assuming they intended to offend us. Resentment can even cause us to look at others’ successes with suspicion. We begin to think that others have only become successful by taking some opportunity away from us. This creates a bitter spirit that damages and destroys relationships.

Acts 6:1As the believers rapidly multiplied, there were rumblings of discontent. The Greek-speaking believers complained about the Hebrew-speaking believers, saying that their widows were being discriminated against in the daily distribution of food.

Discontent is often a tentacle of bitterness. Discontent is caused by jealousy that causes us to think we aren’t getting all the good things we deserve. It creates and reinforces divisions between people and may not actually have anything to do with inequality. It assumes unfairness or injustice when the reality may be more complex. When our focus shifts onto ourselves and what we aren’t getting, bitterness sets in quickly.

Numbers 12:1-2While they were at Hazeroth, Miriam and Aaron criticized Moses because he had married a Cushite woman. They said, “Has the Lord spoken only through Moses? Hasn’t he spoken through us, too?” But the Lord heard them.

A critical spirit is fertile ground for bitterness. It can focus on an insignificant issue and inflate it into a major complaint, as we see Miriam and Aaron doing in their quarrel with their brother Moses. A critical spirit rarely considers God’s perspective before building a case against someone. If you are often finding wrong in others, you are likely in danger of letting bitterness control your life.

Genesis 30:15Leah angrily replied, “Wasn’t it enough that you stole my husband? Now will you steal my son’s mandrakes, too?” Rachel answered, “I will let Jacob sleep with you tonight if you give me some of the mandrakes.”

Jealousy is fertilizer for bitterness. Wanting something another person has sets jealousy in motion. It can involve a momentary interaction, or it can pervade a the dynamics of a relationship for years. Jealousy often leads to anger, and unresolved anger leads to bitterness. If allowed to grow, bitterness can lead to harmful or even violent behavior toward others.