What should I do when I am betrayed? - Betrayal - TouchPoints

Matthew 10:21-22“A brother will betray his brother to death, a father will betray his own child, and children will rebel against their parents and cause them to be killed. And all nations will hate you because you are my followers. But everyone who endures to the end will be saved.”

Betrayals are part of living in a fallen world. Under certain conditions, even the most intimate relationships may break down. The Bible anticipates spiritual conditions in which rebellion against God leads to almost unimaginable cases of betrayal. Jesus assured his followers that those who remain faithful are genuine believers. Betrayed believers can lean into God’s grace for strength amid their losses.

Daniel 7:25He [the king] will defy the Most High and oppress the holy people of the Most High. He will try to change their sacred festivals and laws, and they will be placed under his control for a time, times, and half a time.

Satan betrayed his lofty angelic position when he rebelled against God’s authority, and that betrayal continues with his efforts to derail and destroy God’s plans for his people and his creation. We sometimes feel Satan’s influence on a grand political scale, as in this passage from Daniel, but we may also notice his efforts in smaller, more personal ways. When we witness or experience betrayal, we can remember that Satan is active in the world, and he is simply living up to his character.

Psalm 41:9Even my best friend, the one I trusted completely, the one who shared my food, has turned against me.

There are few things more painful than betrayal by a friend. Crushed by the betrayal of a close friend coupled with his awareness of his own faults, David cried out to God for mercy and for strength. We can do the same when we are betrayed.

Matthew 10:35-36, 39“I have come to set a man against his father, a daughter against her mother, and a daughter-in-law against her mother-in-law. Your enemies will be right in your own household! . . . If you cling to your life, you will lose it; but if you give up your life for me, you will find it.”

Jesus knew his followers would experience betrayal from their closest relationships. Allegiance to him would be the cause. Some people express their rejection of Jesus by rejecting those who follow him. If such a betrayal occurs, it should drive us closer to Jesus.

Matthew 26:40, 43-45He [Jesus] returned to the disciples and found them asleep. He said to Peter, “Couldn’t you watch with me even one hour?” . . . When he returned to them again, he found them sleeping, for they couldn’t keep their eyes open. So he went to pray a third time, saying the same things again. Then he came to the disciples and said, “Go ahead and sleep. Have your rest. But look—the time has come. The Son of Man is betrayed into the hands of sinners.”

While Jesus struggled in prayer in the Garden of Gethsemane about his impending betrayal and suffering, he experienced the disappointment of seeing his followers fall asleep during his time of crisis. It is important to recognize that betrayal is an inevitable part of the human experience; even Jesus was betrayed. This doesn’t make being betrayed easy, but it helps us realize that being betrayed doesn’t mean something is wrong with us. This account also reminds us of the importance of supporting our loved ones as they experience betrayal.

Hebrews 4:15This High Priest of ours understands our weaknesses, for he faced all of the same testings we do, yet he did not sin.

When we are betrayed, we can take comfort in the fact that Jesus knows firsthand the pain of being betrayed. He who has the power to help us has experienced our hurt himself. When others are unfaithful to us, we can find reassurance in God’s unwavering faithfulness.

Luke 21:12-19“There will be a time of great persecution. You will be dragged into synagogues and prisons, and you will stand trial before kings and governors because you are my followers. But this will be your opportunity to tell them about me. So don’t worry in advance about how to answer the charges against you, for I will give you the right words and such wisdom that none of your opponents will be able to reply or refute you! Even those closest to you—your parents, brothers, relatives, and friends—will betray you. They will even kill some of you. And everyone will hate you because you are my followers. But not a hair of your head will perish! By standing firm, you will win your souls.”

We should use every opportunity to tell others about God, but we should expect to be persecuted at times for our witness. The gospel message is about both this life and the eternal life to come; whatever the world does to us can only affect us here. In times of real hardship, God will help us. God expects us to hold fast and not give up, keeping our eyes on the hope of our eternal future with him.

Jeremiah 12:6“Even your brothers, members of your own family, have turned against you. They plot and raise complaints against you. Do not trust them, no matter how pleasantly they speak.”

When we realize we cannot trust a particular person, we should act wisely and take steps to protect ourselves. If we know someone is going to betray us, we should take steps to prepare. We should never fall for a betrayer’s flattery. We must think through how we will respond to the gossip they may spread about us. But we can do this without retaliation. Instead, we should meet their sin against us with kind words and a forgiving heart. We should seek to avoid revenge and grant forgiveness while still exercising prudent self-protection (see Matthew 10:16).

Genesis 50:19-21Joseph replied, “Don’t be afraid of me. Am I God, that I can punish you? You intended to harm me, but God intended it all for good. He brought me to this position so I could save the lives of many people. No, don’t be afraid. I will continue to take care of you and your children.” So he reassured them by speaking kindly to them.

Like Joseph, we should recognize God’s hand in our lives. We need to learn that the injustices and betrayals we experience are not made right by revenge. Even when someone sins against us, God can pick up the pieces and make something good from any situation. Genuine forgiveness is an overwhelming and disarming response to betrayal.

Psalm 118:8It is better to take refuge in the Lord than to trust in people.

Other people may choose to trample on our trust, but God will never betray us. We can count on the safety and security of his presence. We can run to him when people disappoint us.

2 Timothy 2:13If we are unfaithful, he remains faithful, for he cannot deny who he is.

When others are unfaithful to us, we can take great comfort in God’s unwavering faithfulness. We need to anchor our faith in God, not in other frail human beings.