How can I avoid betraying others?

Proverbs 11:13A gossip goes around telling secrets, but those who are trustworthy can keep a confidence.

Keeping the secrets of others demonstrates trustworthiness. A gossip betrays a person’s trust to gain the momentary power of knowing and sharing something others don’t know. Those who gossip also reveal that they don’t properly value their relationships (see Proverbs 20:19).

Proverbs 14:25A truthful witness saves lives, but a false witness is a traitor.

We betray others when we report things about them that are not true. Lies destroy reputations, relationships, and even lives. Integrity demands that we be truthful about others. Always check your motives before speaking about another person.

1 Peter 3:10The Scriptures say, “If you want to enjoy life and see many happy days, keep your tongue from speaking evil and your lips from telling lies.”

When we speak evil and tell lies, we are almost always betraying someone. When we engage in these practices, we are also betraying ourselves by undercutting our own enjoyment and happiness (see also Proverbs 25:18). Gossip is usually a form of lying, as it involves spreading rumors about others that are seldom fully true.

Psalm 55:12-14It is not an enemy who taunts me—I could bear that. It is not my foes who so arrogantly insult me—I could have hidden from them. Instead, it is you—my equal, my companion and close friend. What good fellowship we once enjoyed as we walked together to the house of God.

The psalm writer paints a vivid word picture of his grief over a friendship destroyed by betrayal. Whether or not we have experienced betrayal ourselves, it certainly isn’t an experience we would welcome. One deterrent to betrayal is to remember the deep pain betrayal causes our friends—a pain worse than an attack by an enemy.

Proverbs 19:22Loyalty makes a person attractive. It is better to be poor than dishonest.

Proverbs often instruct by comparison and emphasize by repetition. This one simply offers two examples of wise living. On a scale of worthy lifestyles, honest poverty rates much higher than dishonest gain, for loyalty is one of the most desirable qualities in a friendship. Few relationships survive betrayal.

Proverbs 3:3Never let loyalty and kindness leave you! Tie them around your neck as a reminder. Write them deep within your heart.

Practice loyalty and kindness to others. Like anything worth doing, developing these traits requires repetition and dedication; they don’t just come naturally. The more you deliberately practice them, the better you will become, and the more you will enjoy watching others benefit from your loving actions.

Matthew 7:12“Do to others whatever you would like them to do to you. This is the essence of all that is taught in the law and the prophets.”

Practice the Golden Rule. You don’t want to be betrayed, so don’t betray others. Don’t expect loyalty from others when you have failed to be loyal to them.

Proverbs 20:6Many will say they are loyal friends, but who can find one who is truly reliable?

Be a true, faithful friend (see also Proverbs 17:17). Loyalty says, “No matter what happens around us or between us, there is no fear, doubt, or hurt that can make me turn my back on you.” Then loyalty demonstrates over time the truth of that promise. When loyalty is present, a relationship is secure and solid, and the chances of betrayal become slim.

Malachi 2:14-16You cry out, “Why doesn’t the Lord accept my worship?” I’ll tell you why! Because the Lord witnessed the vows you and your wife made when you were young. But you have been unfaithful to her, though she remained your faithful partner, the wife of your marriage vows. Didn’t the Lord make you one with your wife? In body and spirit you are his. And what does he want? Godly children from your union. So guard your heart; remain loyal to the wife of your youth. “For I hate divorce!” says the Lord, the God of Israel. “To divorce your wife is to overwhelm her with cruelty,” says the Lord of Heaven’s Armies. “So guard your heart; do not be unfaithful to your wife.”

Guard your heart from doing wrong, keep your vows, and remain faithful to your spouse. Unfaithfulness and disloyalty in marriage are forms of betrayal. And because a marriage vow is made not only to your spouse but also before God, the failure to live up to your promises betrays two relationships.