Question 1

What’s the difference between acceptance and approval?

Accepted Answer

John 3:16-17“For this is how God loved the world: He loved it so much that he gave his one and only Son, so that everyone who believes in him will not perish but have eternal life. God sent his Son into the world not to judge the world, but to save the world through him.”In this well-known and much memorized passage, we see God’s love in action. And it is all about God’s work, not about ours. We stand dead, condemned in our sins. God did not and does not “approve” of how we are living, and he knows the end result—eternal condemnation. So despite our condition, he sent Jesus to save us, and thus he “accepts us.” God know us completely and accepts us just as we are, but he loves us too much to let us stay that way. His love for us is totally undeserved.Loving and godly parents act this way with their children. Their love for their children isn’t based on their children’s actions, which often are wrong and disapproved. In fact, because of their love and acceptance, they often have to discipline their children for their unapproved actions.

Question 2

Can God really accept me, even after all I’ve done?

Accepted Answer

Romans 5:8God showed his great love for us by sending Christ to die for us while we were still sinners.God’s acceptance is based not on what a person does but on faith in Jesus Christ. Even the most saintly human being is falls short of God’s holiness. Nothing we do could ever compensate for the sins that have separated us from God, who is perfect. Fortunately, God’s forgiveness flows from his love for us, which is why he gave his Son, Jesus, to die before we were even born or had committed our first sin. God’s acceptance has been waiting for us our whole lives. When we receive his forgiveness, he welcomes us into his presence. What a wonderful moment it is when we realize how fully God accepts us and frees us from the burden of trying to earn God’s love.Romans 8:38–39I am convinced that nothing can ever separate us from God’s love. Neither death nor life, neither angels nor demons, neither our fears for today nor our worries about tomorrow—not even the powers of hell can separate us from God’s love. No power in the sky above or in the earth below—indeed, nothing in all creation will ever be able to separate us from the love of God that is revealed in Christ Jesus our Lord.1 Timothy 1:15This is a trustworthy saying, and everyone should accept it: “Christ Jesus came into the world to save sinners”—and I am the worst of them all.1 John 4:9-10God showed how much he loved us by sending his one and only Son into the world so that we might have eternal life through him. This is real love—not that we loved God, but that he loved us and sent his Son as a sacrifice to take away our sins.We are accepted by God because he created us in his image to have a relationship with him. Nothing we can do will cause God to love us more because he loves us completely. And nothing we do can cause God to love us less.

Question 3

How can I know that God accepts me?

Accepted Answer

Romans 3:30There is only one God, and he makes people right with himself only by faith, whether they are Jews or Gentiles.Galatians 2:16Yet we know that a person is made right with God by faith in Jesus Christ, not by obeying the law. And we have believed in Christ Jesus, so that we might be made right with God because of our faith in Christ, not because we have obeyed the law. For no one will ever be made right with God by obeying the law.1 John 1:8-10If we claim we have no sin, we are only fooling ourselves and not living in the truth. But if we confess our sins to him, he is faithful and just to forgive us our sins and to cleanse us from all wickedness.God’s acceptance is not based on what we do, but on faith in Jesus Christ. Our sin separates us from a holy and perfect God. But faith in Jesus removes our sin and makes us holy and acceptable in God’s sight.Luke 15:18-20“‘I will go home to my father and say, “Father, I have sinned against both heaven and you, and I am no longer worthy of being called your son. Please take me on as a hired servant.”’ So he returned home to his father. And while he was still a long way off, his father saw him coming. Filled with love and compassion, he ran to his son, embraced him, and kissed him.”1 John 3:1See how very much our Father loves us, for he calls us his children, and that is what we are! But the people who belong to this world don’t recognize that we are God’s children because they don’t know him.God loves us as his children. No matter what we do, he will always love us and desire for us to be with him. Even if we have acted like the prodigal son, wasting his gifts and squandering our lives in sin, he rejoices to accept our apology and offer us forgiveness.Matthew 26:74-75Peter swore, “A curse on me if I’m lying—I don’t know the man!” And immediately the rooster crowed. Suddenly, Jesus’ words flashed through Peter’s mind: “Before the rooster crows, you will deny three times that you even know me.” And he went away, weeping bitterly.John 21:16Jesus repeated the question: “Simon son of John, do you love me?” “Yes, Lord,” Peter said, “you know I love you.” “Then take care of my sheep,” Jesus said.Acts 7:59; 8:1As they stoned him, Stephen prayed, “Lord Jesus, receive my spirit.” . . . Saul was one of the witnesses, and he agreed completely with the killing of Stephen.1 Timothy 1:12-16I thank Christ Jesus our Lord, who has given me strength to do his work. He considered me trustworthy and appointed me to serve him, even though I used to blaspheme the name of Christ. In my insolence, I persecuted his people. But God had mercy on me because I did it in ignorance and unbelief. Oh, how generous and gracious our Lord was! He filled me with the faith and love that come from Christ Jesus. This is a trustworthy saying, and everyone should accept it: “Christ Jesus came into the world to save sinners”—and I am the worst of them all. But God had mercy on me so that Christ Jesus could use me as a prime example of his great patience with even the worst sinners. Then others will realize that they, too, can believe in him and receive eternal life.Peter and Paul may be the most famous Christians of all time, yet each committed terrible sins. In Jesus’ darkest hour, Peter denied him and abandoned him. Paul, meanwhile, was a young leader among Jesus’ enemies, the Pharisees, and Paul supported the murder of the first martyr, Stephen. Yet each was forgiven, each was accepted, each was offered a new life. And Scripture promises the same to us.

Question 4

Will God accept me into heaven?

Accepted Answer

John 3:16“For this is how God loved the world: He gave his one and only Son, so that everyone who believes in him will not perish but have eternal life.”John 3:36“Anyone who believes in God’s Son has eternal life. Anyone who doesn’t obey the Son will never experience eternal life but remains under God’s angry judgment.”Romans 5:1-2Therefore, since we have been made right in God’s sight by faith, we have peace with God because of what Jesus Christ our Lord has done for us. Because of our faith, Christ has brought us into this place of undeserved privilege where we now stand, and we confidently and joyfully look forward to sharing God’s glory.Romans 10:9-10If you openly declare that Jesus is Lord and believe in your heart that God raised him from the dead, you will be saved. For it is by believing in your heart that you are made right with God, and it is by openly declaring your faith that you are saved.There is a big difference between being accepted by God for who we are and being accepted into heaven. If we are convicted of a crime, we must pay the consequences, no matter how much someone loves us. In the same way, all people are guilty of the crime of sin against God. Jesus actually paid the eternal punishment for our crimes, but we must believe and accept Jesus for who he is: our Savior and Lord. This involves accepting that we deserve punishment for our sins and cannot earn our own salvation. It means accepting the glorious gift of Jesus’ perfect sacrifice, which washes us clean of our sins. And finally, it means accepting Jesus’ rule as the Lord of our lives. After all, how could we enjoy heaven, the place from where God rules, if we do not wish to learn to obey him and live like him? Living under Christ’s lordship doesn’t mean living under fear of falling short and being punished. It means trusting his guidance, following his footsteps, and learning to become everything we were made to be. It’s not about earning his love but about learning to walk in it and accept it more fully. Then, not only will we be accepted into heaven, but we will have a vital relationship with the God of heaven and be ready to enjoy his goodness forever.

Question 5

How can I learn to better accept others?

Accepted Answer

1 Samuel 22:2Then others began coming—men who were in trouble or in debt or who were just discontented—until David was the captain of about 400 men.Romans 15:7Therefore, accept each other just as Christ has accepted you so that God will be given glory.We have a great deal of influence on how others are treated. That influence can be used positively to accept others for who they are as people. We can welcome others in the spirit of Christ, not because of position, prestige, power or personal gain that may come our way. David modeled this acceptance of others as he was fleeing from Saul. As a developing leader, David learned that it wasn’t simply a matter of getting the best people, but of bringing out the best in the people God brought to him.Matthew 5:44“But I say, love your enemies! Pray for those who persecute you!”Romans 14:1, 3Accept other believers who are weak in faith, and don’t argue with them about what they think is right or wrong . . . Those who feel free to eat anything must not look down on those who don’t. And those who don’t eat certain foods must not condemn those who do, for God has accepted them.We can pray for those we dislike. Through prayer, God can help us see each person through his eyes.Proverbs 13:20Walk with the wise and become wise; associate with fools and get in trouble.Matthew 7:15“Beware of false prophets who come disguised as harmless sheep but are really vicious wolves.”Luke 6:37“Do not judge others, and you will not be judged. Do not condemn others, or it will all come back against you. Forgive others, and you will be forgiven.”John 7:24“Look beneath the surface so you can judge correctly.”Romans 2:1You may think you can condemn such people, but you are just as bad, and you have no excuse! When you say they are wicked and should be punished, you are condemning yourself, for you who judge others do these very same things.1 Corinthians 15:33Don’t be fooled by those who say such things, for “bad company corrupts good character.”Philippians 1:9-10I pray that your love will overflow more and more, and that you will keep on growing in knowledge and understanding. For I want you to understand what really matters, so that you may live pure and blameless lives until the day of Christ’s return.James 4:11-12Don’t speak evil against each other, dear brothers and sisters. If you criticize and judge each other, then you are criticizing and judging God’s law. But your job is to obey the law, not to judge whether it applies to you. God alone, who gave the law, is the Judge. He alone has the power to save or to destroy. So what right do you have to judge your neighbor?Discerning and judging are quite different. Discernment protects us and others from bad influences, deception, and even false teaching. We should be wary of those who habitually sin and tempt others to join them. But we should not be quick to make up our minds about others and write them off. We may only be seeing one side of them or be basing our judgment on a single experience. We may not know how much God has grown them from where they once were or how earnestly they are seeking to grow further. Judging others is better left to God because we can easily misjudge others. He sets the ultimate standard for accepting others.

Question 6

What should I do when other people don’t accept me?

Accepted Answer

Psalm 27:10Even if my father and mother abandon me, the Lord will hold me close.Isaiah 49:15“Never! Can a mother forget her nursing child? Can she feel no love for the child she has borne? But even if that were possible, I would not forget you!”We can take comfort that God’s love endures even when people are fickle and cruel.1 Samuel 16:7The Lord said to Samuel, “Don’t judge by his appearance or height, for I have rejected him. The Lord doesn’t see things the way you see them. People judge by outward appearance, but the Lord looks at the heart.”Galatians 2:20My old self has been crucified with Christ. It is no longer I who live, but Christ lives in me. So I live in this earthly body by trusting in the Son of God, who loved me and gave himself for me.We should remember that our value is not determined by the opinions of others. Each person is a unique creation of God, loved by him, and redeemed by faith through the death of God’s Son. This divine assessment of our great worth is always true, regardless of how people treat us.Romans 12:19-20Dear friends, never take revenge. Leave that to the righteous anger of God. For the Scriptures say, “I will take revenge; I will pay them back,” says the Lord. Instead, “If your enemies are hungry, feed them. If they are thirsty, give them something to drink. In doing this, you will heap burning coals of shame on their heads.”We can easily get sucked into the endless cycle of bitterness and retaliation. Instead, God calls us demonstrate Christ-like love to all people, even those who don’t accept us. We may be surprised how many people accept us when we accept them first.

Question 7

What if a person has committed a terrible sin? Should I still accept them?

Accepted Answer

Romans 8:38-39I am convinced that nothing can ever separate us from God’s love. Neither death nor life, neither angels nor demons, neither our fears for today nor our worries about tomorrow—not even the powers of hell can separate us from God’s love. No power in the sky above or in the earth below—indeed, nothing in all creation will ever be able to separate us from the love of God that is revealed in Christ Jesus our Lord.Galatians 6:1Dear brothers and sisters, if another believer is overcome by some sin, you who are godly should gently and humbly help that person back onto the right path. And be careful not to fall into the same temptation yourself.1 John 4:20-21If someone says, “I love God,” but hates a Christian brother or sister, that person is a liar; for if we don’t love people we can see, how can we love God, whom we cannot see? And he has given us this command: Those who love God must also love their Christian brothers and sisters.Nothing can separate a person from God’s love. In the same way, we should always love others, no matter how great their sin. This does not mean that we should accept or condone their sinful actions or ignore the appropriate discipline, but we should view and accept them as a unique and special creations of God. Only through love can we bring a sinful person back into fellowship with God and others. Even church discipline must be carried out with loving motives.Matthew 18:32-33“Then the king called in the man he had forgiven and said, ‘You evil servant! I forgave you that tremendous debt because you pleaded with me. Shouldn’t you have mercy on your fellow servant, just as I had mercy on you?’”Ephesians 4:2-3, 32Always be humble and gentle. Be patient with each other, making allowance for each other’s faults because of your love. Make every effort to keep yourselves united in the Spirit, binding yourselves together with peace. . . . Instead, be kind to each other, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, just as God through Christ has forgiven you.Colossians 3:13Make allowance for each other’s faults, and forgive anyone who offends you. Remember, the Lord forgave you, so you must forgive others.Everyone sins, even Christians. Since Christ could forgive us for all we have done, we should be quick to forgive, and we have no right to hold a grudge against someone else.Matthew 18:15-17“If another believer sins against you, go privately and point out the offense. If the other person listens and confesses it, you have won that person back. But if you are unsuccessful, take one or two others with you and go back again, so that everything you say may be confirmed by two or three witnesses. If the person still refuses to listen, take your case to the church. Then if he or she won’t accept the church’s decision, treat that person as a pagan or a corrupt tax collector.”1 Corinthians 5:1-2, 11I can hardly believe the report about the sexual immorality going on among you—something that even pagans don’t do. I am told that a man in your church is living in sin with his stepmother. You are so proud of yourselves, but you should be mourning in sorrow and shame. And you should remove this man from your fellowship. . . . I meant that you are not to associate with anyone who claims to be a believer yet indulges in sexual sin, or is greedy, or worships idols, or is abusive, or is a drunkard, or cheats people. Don’t even eat with such people.2 Thessalonians 3:14Take note of those who refuse to obey what we say in this letter. Stay away from them so they will be ashamed.1 Timothy 5:19-20Do not listen to an accusation against an elder unless it is confirmed by two or three witnesses. Those who sin should be reprimanded in front of the whole church; this will serve as a strong warning to others.Titus 3:9-11Do not get involved in foolish discussions about spiritual pedigrees or in quarrels and fights about obedience to Jewish laws. These things are useless and a waste of time. If people are causing divisions among you, give a first and second warning. After that, have nothing more to do with them. For people like that have turned away from the truth, and their own sins condemn them.James 5:19-20My dear brothers and sisters, if someone among you wanders away from the truth and is brought back, you can be sure that whoever brings the sinner back from wandering will save that person from death and bring about the forgiveness of many sins.We are called to love others, but we should not always accept their behavior. In the most serious cases, the community of faith has a responsibility to address sin among its members. We may want to accept ungodly behavior in hopes of avoiding conflict, telling ourselves we are being accepting and loving. But acceptance is not always the same as love. If we truly accept that someone is a beloved child of God, we cannot accept that child of God living in a way that is actively destroying them and those around them. Such behavior harms the sinner, harms those they sin against, and can even lead others into sin. It not only harms the community as a whole, but it harms Christ’s witness to the world. The Bible describes processes of private and then public warnings, and eventually a public distancing from that individual. Such discipline is not pleasant, but it may be the only way to catch that person’s attention and point him or her back to Christ. Sadly, not every person may accept such discipline, but at least others will be protected and warned from falling into the same trap.

Question 8

What should I never accept?

Accepted Answer

2 Chronicles 34:3-7Josiah . . . ordered that the altars of Baal be demolished and that the incense altars which stood above them be broken down.Ephesians 4:29-30Don’t use foul or abusive language. Let everything you say be good and helpful, so that your words will be an encouragement to those who hear them. And do not bring sorrow to God’s Holy Spirit by the way you live. Remember, he has identified you as his own, guaranteeing that you will be saved on the day of redemption.We must never accept or tolerate sin in our lives. We should never decide we are “good enough” because we sin less than someone else. Everyone has a sinful nature and we all have certain sins to which we are particularly vulnerable. Left unchecked, those sins, no matter how small, will begin to grow and spread like a malignant tumor, affecting all we think and do.1 Samuel 8:3They [Samuel’s eldest sons] were not like their father, for they were greedy for money. They accepted bribes and perverted justice.Ephesians 5:4Obscene stories, foolish talk, and coarse jokes—these are not for you. Instead, let there be thankfulness to God.Accepting sinful practices, either by participating in them or overlooking them, dishonors God. Accepting corruption from corrupt people will certainly cause us to become corrupt.

Question 9

How do I learn to accept those who are different from me?

Accepted Answer

Deuteronomy 10:18-19“So you, too, must show love to foreigners, for you yourselves were once foreigners in the land of Egypt.”Matthew 25:35“For I was hungry, and you fed me. I was thirsty, and you gave me a drink. I was a stranger, and you invited me into your home.”Hebrews 13:2Don’t forget to show hospitality to strangers, for some who have done this have entertained angels without realizing it!Almost everyone has had a time where they felt like an outsider and were uncertain about how to find a path to belonging. Almost everyone has had a time where they needed help but were too embarrassed to ask. When we seek to truly see and understand the people we meet, treating them with kindness and dignity, we also are showing love and respect to the One who made them.Matthew 8:2-3Suddenly, a man with leprosy approached him and knelt before him. “Lord,” the man said, “if you are willing, you can heal me and make me clean.” Jesus reached out and touched him. “I am willing,” he said. “Be healed!” And instantly the leprosy disappeared.Matthew 9:10-12Matthew invited Jesus and his disciples to his home as dinner guests, along with many tax collectors and other disreputable sinners. But when the Pharisees saw this, they asked his disciples, “Why does your teacher eat with such scum?” When Jesus heard this, he said, “Healthy people don’t need a doctor—sick people do.”Luke 19:2, 5-10There was a man there named Zacchaeus. He was the chief tax collector in the region, and he had become very rich. . . . When Jesus came by, he looked up at Zacchaeus and called him by name. “Zacchaeus!” he said. “Quick, come down! I must be a guest in your home today.” Zacchaeus quickly climbed down and took Jesus to his house in great excitement and joy. But the people were displeased. “He has gone to be the guest of a notorious sinner,” they grumbled. Meanwhile, Zacchaeus stood before the Lord and said, “I will give half my wealth to the poor, Lord, and if I have cheated people on their taxes, I will give them back four times as much!” Jesus responded, “Salvation has come to this home today, for this man has shown himself to be a true son of Abraham. For the Son of Man came to seek and save those who are lost.”In Jesus’ day, prostitutes, tax collectors, and lepers were some of the least acceptable people around. Prostitutes made money off sexual sin. Tax collectors like Zacchaeus not only worked for the Roman conquerors, but they also cheated people and collected extra money for themselves. Lepers were disgusting—their disease caused their bodies to slowly rot away; and the disease was contagious, so they had to live on the outskirts of society. Yet Jesus knew these people who evoked such disgust were some of the people who most understood their need for his message. In fact, one of those people—a tax collector named Matthew—deserves our thanks for writing much of what we know about Jesus. We may not like where people come from, what they have done, or how they act, but like Jesus, we can recognize the glorious potential in each and every person.Acts 10:34Then Peter replied, “I see very clearly that God shows no favoritism.”Romans 15:7Therefore, accept each other just as Christ has accepted you so that God will be given glory.Galatians 3:28There is no longer Jew or Gentile, slave or free, male and female. For you are all one in Christ Jesus.Revelation 7:9-10After this I saw a vast crowd, too great to count, from every nation and tribe and people and language, standing in front of the throne and before the Lamb. They were clothed in white robes and held palm branches in their hands. And they were shouting with a great roar, “Salvation comes from our God who sits on the throne and from the Lamb!”God calls all kinds of people to become part of the Body of Christ. The unity of that body is crucial to its witness to the world. Though our differences are real, and sometimes deserve discussion, those differences should never overshadow the central unity of our identity in Christ.

Question 10

How can I accept all of life’s circumstances that come my way?

Accepted Answer

Job 2:10Job replied, “Should we accept only good things from the hand of God and never anything bad?”Ecclesiastes 5:19To enjoy your work and accept your lot in life—this is indeed a gift from God.Luke 1:38Mary responded, “I am the Lord’s servant. May everything you have said about me come true.”Romans 8:18, 23-25Yet what we suffer now is nothing compared to the glory he will reveal to us later . . . And we believers also groan, even though we have the Holy Spirit within us as a foretaste of future glory, for we long for our bodies to be released from sin and suffering. We, too, wait with eager hope for the day when God will give us our full rights as his adopted children, including the new bodies he has promised us. We were given this hope when we were saved.1 Corinthians 7:17Each of you should continue to live in whatever situation the Lord has placed you, and remain as you were when God first called you.Hebrews 10:34You suffered along with those who were thrown into jail, and when all you owned was taken from you, you accepted it with joy. You knew there were better things waiting for you that will last forever.Accepting our circumstances doesn’t mean we have to like them. By keeping an eternal perspective, however, we can learn from and grow through difficult times. When we accept what comes from God’s hand, we can trust that he has something to teach us through whatever comes our way. We can also remind ourselves that difficult circumstances will not follow us to heaven—one day, we will be in a place with no more tears or sorrow. One day, God will make all things right. This is a fallen world, and Jesus’ followers know better than to have unrealistic expectations. While we have hints of our glorious future in heaven, we live amid the continuing trials of this life. By keeping eternity in mind, we can grow from the difficulties we experience, knowing that our struggles will one day be overcome.

Question 11

What makes me acceptable to God?

Accepted Answer

Romans 3:27Can we boast, then, that we have done anything to be accepted by God? No, because our acquittal is not based on obeying the law. It is based on faith.Colossians 2:6Now, just as you accepted Christ Jesus as your Lord, you must continue to follow him.No one can earn God’s acceptance. Nothing we do could ever compensate for our sins. The only way to be accepted by God is to believe that his Son, Jesus, died for our sins so we can be free to enjoy eternal life with him. When we accept his forgiveness and accept him as Lord of our lives, he completely accepts us into his presence. It’s that simple.Romans 3:30There is only one God, and he makes people right with himself only by faith, whether they are Jews or Gentiles.Galatians 2:16Yet we know that a person is made right with God by faith in Jesus Christ, not by obeying the law. And we have believed in Christ Jesus, so that we might be made right with God because of our faith in Christ, not because we have obeyed the law. For no one will ever be made right with God by obeying the law.Our sin separates us from a holy and perfect God. Faith in Jesus’ sacrifice removes our sin and makes us holy and acceptable in God’s sight, not because we become perfect, but because he has forgiven us. Our continued spiritual growth is not a condition for salvation but a result of it. Because God loves and accepts us, he longs for us to live lives full of love, joy, peace, and all the fruit of his Spirit (Galatians 5:22-23). When we accept his Spirit’s work in our hearts, we learn to more fully recognize the love he always had for us—and we grow in expressing that love to others.Matthew 3:16-17After his baptism, as Jesus came up out of the water, the heavens were opened and he saw the Spirit of God descending like a dove and settling on him. And a voice from heaven said, “This is my dearly loved Son, who brings me great joy.”Romans 5:1-2Therefore, since we have been made right in God’s sight by faith, we have peace with God because of what Jesus Christ our Lord has done for us. Because of our faith, Christ has brought us into this place of undeserved privilege where we now stand, and we confidently and joyfully look forward to sharing God’s glory.Ephesians 2:8-9God saved you by his grace when you believed. And you can’t take credit for this; it is a gift from God. Salvation is not a reward for the good things we have done, so none of us can boast about it.Jesus was blessed by his Father in heaven because of who he was, not because of what he did. The same is true of us. Many assume that performance is the way to become accepted. We are driven to earn respect from others, to impress others, to gain the applause and approval of others. This can easily transfer over to our relationship with God—thinking we have to earn his love and acceptance, too. But we are accepted by grace, not because of performance. God accepts us from the start, before we have accomplished great things.

Acceptance