Resilience Rule #1: Expect The Unexpected - The Rules of Resilience: How to Thrive in a World of Change and Uncertainty

“Anyone who listens to my teaching and follows it is wise, like a person who builds a house on solid rock. Though the rain comes in torrents and the floodwaters rise and the winds beat against that house, it won’t collapse because it is built on bedrock. But anyone who hears my teaching and doesn’t obey it is foolish, like a person who builds a house on sand. When the rains and floods come and the winds beat against that house, it will collapse with a mighty crash.” (Matthew 7:24-27, NLT)

“I have told you all this so that you may have peace in me. Here on earth you will have many trials and sorrows. But take heart, because I have overcome the world.” (John 16:33, NLT)

If you’ve ever had your plans disrupted by events you didn’t anticipate, you know the frustration of unexpected or unwelcome hurdles. Sometimes, though, it’s not even the unexpected that throws us off course. If we are honest, sometimes the hurdles we must clear are predictable, but we still weren’t ready for them. The expectation that obstacles should not or will not appear is one of the biggest threats to resilience. This is because if you don’t expect complications, you won’t prepare for or try to prevent them from happening in the first place.

If you expect the unexpected, you prepare as though it is inevitable. You put yourself in the best position to weather a storm, bounce back quickly, and even fail forward when possible, coming out ahead of where you would have been if the detour had not been necessary.

To be clear, resilience isn’t needed just for negative events and stressors; it’s needed for the positive ones too. When you get a promotion or start a new business, it may be exciting, but it’s also a major change that can create stress and the risk of mistakes or failure. The same is true when you get married, have a child, or move across the world to pursue a lifelong dream.

Sudden fortune requires resilience to navigate, as it can be a major change that requires good decision-making, planning, self-control, and perhaps mentors who can support wise choices. It requires a system that supports success.

Whatever challenge you face, whether an unexpected, unwelcome dilemma or an unexpected, welcome surprise, you can build your own personal system of resilience. Here are some practical ways to prepare for the unexpected:

Shift your expectations. When you don’t expect things to always unfold as you planned, it is easier to adapt when the unexpected arrives. Expect good things to happen, but be realistic about the possibility of the unexpected and decide in advance that no matter what happens, you can and will adapt, relying on creativity, relationships, and the resources you cultivate.

Pause, then plan. When life throws you off course, you may feel a bit dizzy at first. Give yourself the space and time to process change and get your bearings. Take a breath, assess the situation, then start planning for how you can adjust, rally your resources, and meet the challenge in front of you.

Think ahead. Always think about ways you can build your life so that it is more resilient in the face of challenges. From strong relationships and emergency savings to taking care of your health and equipping yourself with skills that give you career options, build a strong support system of resources that will cushion you from the unexpected challenges life can bring.

Manage your thoughts. One of the most important resilience skills is thought awareness. Notice what you’re saying to yourself about your challenge and whether your thoughts are moving you forward or getting you stuck. Be intentional about choosing thoughts that align with your vision and help you move in a positive direction.