Encouraging A Quiet Person To Talk - The One Year Love Language Minute Devotional

Encouraging a Quiet Person to Talk

Wise words bring many benefits, and hard work brings rewards. . . . The wise listen to others.

Proverbs 12:14-15

WHEN IT COMES to talking, there are two personality types. The first I call the Dead Sea personality. Just as the Dead Sea receives water from the Jordan River but has no outlet, so many people can receive all kinds of experiences throughout the day. They store these in their minds and have little compulsion to share.

Then there is the personality I call the Babbling Brook. Whatever information comes in the eyes or ears of this person quickly comes out the mouth. Often these two types marry each other. Can they have a happy marriage? Yes, if they understand their differences and seek to grow.

The Babbling Brook might complain, “My mate won’t talk. I don’t ever know what he’s thinking. I feel like we are becoming strangers.” How do you get a quiet person to talk?

Two suggestions: First, ask specific questions. The worst thing you can ever say to a Dead Sea personality is, “I wish you’d talk more.” That statement is overwhelming, and it comes across as condemnation. It’s far better to ask specific questions, because even the quietest person will generally respond.

Another suggestion is to stop the flow of your own words. If you want another person to talk more, you have to talk less. Leave little pools of silence. Remember, “the wise listen to others.” If you find yourself talking too much and your spouse talking too little, follow the apostle James’s advice and be “quick to listen, slow to speak” (James 1:19). Your marriage will benefit.

Heavenly Father, thank you for making my spouse and me so different. You know that one of us loves to talk and the other doesn’t talk much without encouragement. Please help me to be quick to listen and to slow down my speech when I need to. I want to know my spouse better and to communicate more effectively with him or her.


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