Effective Apologies - The One Year Love Language Minute Devotional

Effective Apologies

People who conceal their sins will not prosper, but if they confess and turn from them, they will receive mercy.

Proverbs 28:13

EFFECTIVE APOLOGIES require a willingness to change our behavior. Proverbs 28:13 makes it clear that when we don’t admit our wrongs—whether toward God or toward our spouse—we can’t expect a good result. But when we do admit (“confess”) the hurtful things we do and make a plan to stop doing them (“turn from them”), forgiveness is possible.

I remember Joel, whose wife, Joyce, was extremely negative. No matter what Joel said, Joyce disagreed with him. In our counseling sessions, I discovered that Joyce saw everything as either good or bad, right or wrong. Thus, if she disagreed with Joel, it couldn’t just be a difference of opinion—his idea must be wrong.

It took a while, but eventually Joyce apologized for her negative attitude and came up with a plan to change it. She learned to say, “That’s an interesting way to look at it.” Or, “I can appreciate that.” She learned to share her ideas as opinions rather than as dogma. She learned to say, “My perception of that is . . .{}” Joel freely forgave Joyce when he saw her genuinely trying to change. Effective apologies can save marriages.

God, it’s hard to admit my own wrong patterns, but I know I hurt my spouse in the same way over and over again. Please give me the courage to confess those wrongs and turn away from them. And when my loved one does the same, help me to be gracious and forgive.

Repentance