Building Intimacy Through Listening - The One Year Love Language Minute Devotional

Building Intimacy through Listening

Pay attention to how you hear. To those who listen to my teaching, more understanding will be given. But for those who are not listening, even what they think they understand will be taken away from them.

Luke 8:18

BUILDING INTIMACY is a process, not an event. We don’t obtain intimacy and keep it on the shelf as a treasure for the rest of our lives. Intimacy is fluid, not static. And the way we maintain intimacy is communication.

Communication involves two simple elements: self-revelation and listening. One person tells the other his or her thoughts, feelings, and experiences (self-revelation) while the other listens with a view to understanding what the spouse is thinking and feeling. The process is then reversed, and the speaker becomes the listener. The simple act of talking and listening maintains intimacy.

If this is all it takes, what’s the big problem? It’s called selfishness. Too often, we stop listening and start preaching. When both partners are preaching, neither preacher has an audience. When we get tired of talking at each other, we withdraw in silent resentment. We will never be able to return to intimacy until we apologize and forgive each other for being selfish.

Jesus talked about listening, as we can see in Luke 8:18. When we listen intently, he said, we gain understanding. But when we aren’t paying attention, we lose even the understanding we once had. That’s how important genuine listening is in building intimacy.

Father, I need to be a better listener—to you as well as to my spouse. Help me to stop my mind and my mouth from moving when it’s my loved one’s turn to talk. Please give me greater understanding so that we can build greater intimacy.


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