Trusting Him In The Middle - Wrestling with Waiting

“I am the Alpha and the Omega, the First and the Last, the Beginning and the End.” (Revelation 22:13, NIV)

Currently I am watching a loved one walk a tough road. All I can do is witness the situation and pray. Powerless to change anything, I often wonder how it will play out. Depending on the day (or even the hour!) I might be at peace or fraught with worry. Uncertainty and ambiguity are painful to watch.

And they are painful to walk through.

Scripture tells us Jesus is “the Alpha and the Omega, the First and the Last, the Beginning and the End” (Revelation 22:13). These victorious titles are comforting and easy to comprehend. But what about life in the middle? We spend the majority of our days in between those spiritual bookends, often losing sight of how things began and anxious over how they might end.

Life in the middle is messy. Smatterings of met and unmet expectations are smeared about. This in-between space is where I am fearful and fragile, in need of courage and confidence. But despite the chaos, I am learning that God is still God of the middle. There is no saggy interim as we wait for our stories to leap from Genesis to Revelation. There is strength and victory at the halfway point, too.

When Jesus claims to be the Alpha and the Omega, He is establishing His authority and sovereignty over both what begins and what ends. Yet the only way He can set something in motion and ensure the outcome is to successfully manage the in-between. Life cannot go off the rails in the middle and still end up on track. Those trajectories are simple math, really.

So how do we move that intellectual arithmetic from our heads into our hearts? How do we let the truth speak louder than the chaos?

Alpha and Omega are titles of authority. But God is more than a valiant King who sits mightily on His throne. He is also a gentle and merciful Father who gathers us in His arms and woos us to rest in Him. I am learning I cannot have one without the other.

If I focus solely on God’s ultimate control over my life, I struggle to grasp His love for me. How do I reconcile painful circumstances knowing He is sovereign over them? Likewise, if I concentrate on His goodness, then I will doubt His sovereignty when difficult situations arise. The solution is to balance both attributes equally in my heart. Because it is through the lens of goodness that He chooses to reign.

Inevitably, with every new season, I will stumble over something in the middle and wonder if God is still in charge. In those moments, I have a choice to make. Will I fret and worry and allow the cluttered chaos to overwhelm me? Or will I trust that He is the Alpha, the Omega and the God of the Middle?

Believing God’s sovereignty and goodness are both necessary if I want to overcome the fears of my messy middle. The former gives me peace, and the latter gives me hope. Together they allow me to keep walking through the middle, knowing the end has already been secured.

Be Intentional

Set a timer for one minute. Consider your messy middle. Name each fear/concern and ask God to replace each one with an awareness of both His sovereignty and His goodness.