Discarding The Fantasy - The One Year Women's Friendship Devotional

Discarding the Fantasy

The tongue is a small thing that makes grand speeches. But a tiny spark can set a great forest on fire. James 3:5

Marriage is no place for criticism, nagging, or anger, especially if we are trying to use those methods to change our spouses.

It took a Saturday-morning blowup to open Jim’s and Hilda’s eyes to what they had allowed to happen. It started simply enough: Jim wandered into the kitchen with the newspaper and reached for a cup, only to discover Hilda hadn’t made coffee. She was savoring herbal tea as she read the latest women’s magazine, coupon-clipping scissors close at hand.

Jim could have greeted his wife, made the coffee himself, and avoided an argument. Instead, he chose to express his disappointment: “Why didn’t you make the coffee? You were down here first,” he snapped.

“Well, good morning to you, too,” Hilda replied sarcastically, and they were off and running into a major argument that included a Boy, have you changed and several You nevers, followed by Hilda’s tearful, “This isn’t the way it’s supposed to be!”

To Jim’s credit, something clicked within him, and instead of storming out to the corner café for coffee and solitude, he chose a wiser route.

“Look, let’s start over,” he said and backed out of the kitchen. Then, standing in the doorway, he dramatically cleared his throat before saying, “Good morning, dear wife. My, but aren’t you the picture of loveliness today as you clip coupons, sparing me from that mundane activity.”

Even though Hilda knew he was kidding, she smiled. He stared, then said softly, “I’ve missed your smile.”

They weren’t cuddled up before the fireplace, and Jim wasn’t stroking her hair. But as Hilda looked at her husband, she decided it was time to learn how to deal with this real man. And that realization provided a new start, one not built on a fantasy. —SANDRA

Lord, show me the little things I can do to let others know I appreciate and love them. Remind me not to be like that dear old husband who loved his wife so much he almost told her!

Let the wife make her husband glad to come home, and let him make her sorry to see him leave. —MARTIN LUTHER (1483–1546), GERMAN REFORMATION LEADER