Angry: A Strong Feeling Of Annoyance, Displeasure, Or Hostility - The Gift of Anger: A Guide to Follow Your Feelings in Prayer

The Language for Feeling Angry

I want to be anywhere but here. I am about to lose control. I can tell. I feel anger boiling within me. It is prowling like a prisoner right behind my rib cage, eager to get out. I try to simmer it down. I try to drink water, take some space, and walk away. But I can’t escape myself. I can’t cut myself off from my convictions. I can’t dismember my body from my feelings. I’m mad about many things. My anger, like a tornado, snatches up everything wrong I see. Everything swirls together. I haven’t been heard. I haven’t been seen. I haven’t had a place to stand up and tell my side of the story. It isn’t right or fair or okay. My soul spews. I can’t sit. I can’t process it. I can’t think straight. I am coming undone. I feel so angry I want to shout harsh words, entertain evil thoughts, or punish other people. I am gripped by my anger. I want control. I implode on myself. I so easily become the victim of my anger. I lose myself to my feelings. My anger takes over me. I let it. My anger scares even me.

For a moment, I don’t try to manage my anger, but just feel it. It consumes me. I feel helpless. I also feel other feelings. I feel deeply hurt, betrayed, confused, misunderstood, invisible.

Exploding or imploding can’t be the only way out of what I feel. There must be another way that doesn’t cause greater damage than what has already been done. I want to do a lot of things with my anger. Though there are parts of me that want to bring harm or vindication or revenge or justification, ultimately, I don’t want to destroy myself or another. I know those actions won’t bring me freedom but destruction. How do I hold on to anger when anger is needed, but not use it as a weapon to bring harm?

A Liturgy for When I Feel Angry

Breathe in—Jesus, companion and friend...
Breathe out—help me be wise.

God, here I am.

I feel angry.

I feel it in my body and trace it in my story.

Even in my resistance, please help me do the best “right thing” in love.

I resist feeding my anger with anger.
I resist picking up the weapon of my tongue or the force of my hand to resolve my feelings.
I resist pushing my anger down, pretending it isn’t there, or turning it against myself.

You say, Let not the sun go down on my anger.
You have not commanded me to reconcile with my offender immediately but have invited me to be with my anger through the day and night.

I want to be honest with myself.
I know in the darkness of my anger, I can make up stories that may not be true.
I can imagine plans for harm.
I can believe lies that shape my thinking and behavior.

Search my heart, O God.

As I stay with my anger, Lord, lead me to my wounds.
Bring my pain to the light so anger doesn’t rot my bones.
O good counselor, help me process my pain in a way that brings full resolve.

You have given me anger as a gift. It allows me to see my heart, reality, right, and wrong. May I yield this gift as an offering of service and not self-righteousness or self-condemnation.

In my anger I turn my attention to You, Jesus.
I turn my combustible chest to You.
I bring my frustration, hostility, and hurt to You.
For You, God, are always turned toward me.

I stretch open my frustrated soul.
I stretch open my pain.
I stretch open my ache.

No one can fully handle my anger but You.
You are not surprised by it.
You don’t reject me or come undone by my pain, but You reveal my heart to me.

Instead, You pull me in.

You know anger too.
You’ve felt it, expressed it, and received the wrath of others.
You rebuked. You got frustrated. You flipped tables.

You know the anger of man and have not raged back, but instead, You healed.

When Mary was angry at You for not being back in time to save her brother, You tended to her pain. When Peter cut off the soldier’s ear in anger, You healed. When they murdered You on the cross, You forgave.

You take people’s anger.

This is what You do.
Help me to speak, shout, or scream the truth – in love.
Help me to find a way forward.
Help me, O God to be wise with my words and actions.
Help me heal that I may be fully free to love.

Even amid this burning feeling, I give You thanks because You move toward me. Even here, I find comfort in knowing that You care about my anger, hurt, and pain.

Living Word

I will listen to You.

Ephesians 4:25-27

Therefore, having put away falsehood, let each one of you speak the truth with his neighbor, for we are members one of another. Be angry and do not sin; do not let the sun go down on your anger, and give no opportunity to the devil.