Step Two – Reach Out To Him. - Reconciliation

“Then Joseph said to his brothers, ‘Please, come near me,’ and they came near. ‘I am Joseph, your brother,’ he said, ‘the one you sold into Egypt. And now don’t be grieved or angry with yourselves for selling me here, because God sent me ahead of you to preserve life.’” (Genesis 45:4-5, CSB)

Nancy and I were enjoying dinner with dear people, Nate and Jessica. Old friends. Folks we really enjoy. Our conversation slid seamlessly from one thing to another. This included them revealing to me that a mutual “friend” had told them that he has resolved to never speak with me again.

I was shocked. And sad.

Then they reported that, two years before, a man named Dan, a landscaper, and I had spoken about money his company had charged for their services on my property. I don’t remember the details of the conversation, but I did remember having it. Apparently, the way I treated him was so insulting that he resolved to never speak with me again. That night after dinner with Nate and Jessica, before Nancy and I went to sleep, she and I talked about this relationship breech and what I should do about it. We prayed for Dan.

The next morning, I sent a text to Dan. It read in part: “Hello, Dan. Nancy and I had a brief conversation with our mutual friend, Nate . . . would you be available to talk with me about our interaction with him? It seems clear that I have done something to you that’s unbecoming of a brother, especially a Christian brother. I’d be happy to rendezvous with you. In person would be my hope. Perhaps early this week? Thank you. Robert Wolgemuth.”

For the third and final step: Meet

Dan responded in the affirmative. A few days later we had that meeting. A smartly decorated coffee shop nearby was the venue. Early. I came, loaded with humility and contrition. I also brought along a copy of The Men’s Daily Bible. When Dan and I first saw each other, it was clear that he was outfitted with the same. A big smile; verbal greeting; a hug; and a lengthy sit-down talk. Shades of Joseph and his brothers in Egypt a long time ago.

After ordering coffee, with his permission, I read Dan my “Insight for the Day,” taken from the story of Joseph and his brothers. It’s called “A Relationship Fixer-Upper,”^a and it perfectly set the table for what I wanted to say to Dan.

From that point forward, our conversation was effortless, just like the conversation with my bright friend I mentioned above. Dan and I told stories. We laughed. We updated each other on the comings and goings of our families.

As our talk went along, I asked Dan to forgive me for my carelessness of years ago. My unkindness. He did. In this moment, it felt like a weight was lifted from my shoulders. You’ve had that experience and know just what I’m talking about, right?

We finished our coffee shop rendezvous with a prayer. Right there in the hubbub and busyness of the local hangout I leaned in and thanked the Lord for His grace that made the lead-up and my sweet time with Dan possible. He buttoned it up with a short prayer of his own.

Early yesterday, Dan brought a crew to our house to do some outside work. When I saw his truck parked in front, I walked out and thanked him for coming. He had already been working so he was good and sweaty. It didn’t matter. I gave him a hug.

So, there you have it. Pray for this guy. Reach out to him in humility. Meet. Confess. Talk. Pretty simple, right? Doing these things will at the very least take the breached relationship you identified above and send it in the right direction.

The ancient story of Joseph reconciling with his brothers is a sweet reminder, a gift to you and me.

Our old buddy, Mark Twain, who was known for turning phrases, delivered this classic a long time ago: “Forgive others, not because they deserve forgiveness but because you deserve peace.”

I think this works here. Don’t you agree?

God bless you as you reach out to your estranged friend. I cannot wait to hear what happens.