Safe - One Good Word a Day

Safe

A troublemaker plants seeds of strife; gossip separates the best of friends.

“HEY, JULIE, do you have a moment?”

“Sure, what’s up?” I noted my place in the brief I was proofreading before setting it aside and cleared a small space in the piles of neatly stacked papers cluttering my desk.

As she slipped inside and closed the door, I suspected this visit was personal rather than professional. She was one of several people who felt safe slipping into my office for a quiet chat about hard things, and I’d learned that the soft snick of my closing door usually preceded tears.

On occasion I’d pray with those seeking respite in my office, but more often than not I listened sympathetically, offering my box of tissues, silently asking God for discernment when I was asked for advice, dispensing biblical wisdom without directly invoking Jesus’ name.

In a workplace that loved gossip, thriving on juicy tidbits, the things shared with me in those private moments stayed private, unrepeated unless I had express permission. I was a safe person and quickly became a trusted sounding board for several coworkers.

I don’t know who among my friend group first used the word safe as shorthand to describe a woman who does not talk about others negatively when they step out of the room, does not make gossip a habit, and does not stir up drama, but we use that label with our daughters as they learn the ins and outs of female friendship.

In a world of oversharing and overexposure, being a safe person is valuable and increasingly rare. It is a habit that can be developed and practiced, rather than an innate characteristic or personality trait. And it is a behavior that will silently speak of our faith, setting us apart culturally, inviting questions about why we choose to live differently than those around us, pointing others toward God, whether they realize it immediately or not. We admit that we are imperfectly on the journey, slipping from time to time, but the intentional focus on being safe women and safe friends has helped tremendously.

Lord, show us where we need to do better, helping us develop strong defenses around gossiping, tearing other women down, and creating unnecessary drama. May we be safe women. Amen.

-Julie

One Good Step: Pick one area —gossip, backbiting, or drama—to focus on this week, asking God to show you where you fall a little short.