Serve Your Spouse - Loving (and Liking) Your Spouse for Life

“Jesus called them together and said, ‘You know that those who are regarded as rulers of the Gentiles lord it over them, and their high officials exercise authority over them. Not so with you. Instead, whoever wants to become great among you must be your servant, and whoever wants to be first must be slave of all. For even the Son of Man did not come to be served, but to serve, and to give his life as a ransom for many.’” (Mark 10:42-45, NIV)

You’re not going to see “Serve Your Spouse” emblazoned on a t-shirt, mug, or home decorating sign anytime soon. Modern culture tells us to assert ourselves, to bow to no one, and to leave a marriage that’s not making you happy. If you tell a friend, “I’m going to serve my husband” or “I’m going to serve my wife” you might get some strange looks and be accused of being backward and a pushover.

Instead of thinking, “I am here to serve my spouse,” we think “My spouse is here to serve me.” We don’t dare say this out loud (it doesn’t sound Christian!) but this is our attitude. Here’s a quick heart check. Which of these questions better describes your feelings toward your spouse:

What can I do for you today?

What have you done for me lately?

We need God’s help to serve as Jesus did. In God’s kingdom, being a servant is a promotion, not a demotion. Moses was one of God’s besties (think Ten Commandments and parting the Red Sea). God gives him the title of servant, not leader, in Numbers 12:7-8 and Deuteronomy 34:5.

Here are a few simple ways to serve your spouse:

• Ask “Is there anything I can do to make your life easier today?”
• Offer to pick up groceries on the way home.
• Give your spouse a massage.
• Bring a glass of water or coffee to your spouse.
• Make a favorite meal or go to a favorite restaurant.
• Pray for your spouse out loud.

When you start with Christ as the foundation of your marriage–and keep it there–that is the most powerful thing you can do to make marriage easier. In our own strength, it can be hard to remain gracious and serve. As we experience the love of God, we grow more loving and patient toward our spouses. Jesus constantly shows us a pattern of service from healing the sick, feeding the masses, washing feet, and even taking care of his mother from the cross.

Jesus came not to be served, but to serve and give His life. We are called to follow Him and serve others. Your spouse is the most important other.

Prayer:

Lord, give me a heart of service in my marriage. I confess I am selfish and many times I am only thinking about myself. Forgive me and make me more sensitive to the needs and preferences of my spouse. In Jesus’ Name, Amen.