Grieving Who You Wanted To Be - Forgiveness Through the Psalms

“The LORD is close to the brokenhearted; he rescues those whose spirits are crushed.” (Psalm 34:18, NLT)

“O LORD, how long will you forget me? Forever? How long will you look the other way? …But I trust in your unfailing love. I will rejoice because you have rescued me. I will sing to the LORD because he is good to me. (Psalm 13:1, 5-6, NLT)

“My God, my God, why have you abandoned me? Why are you so far away when I groan for help? Every day I call to you, my God, but you do not answer. Every night I lift my voice, but I find no relief. Yet you are holy, enthroned on the praises of Israel.” (Psalm 22:1-3, NLT)

I once heard a pastor say something like “In your twenties, the sole focus is all about ambitiously chasing who you are becoming. In your forties, it becomes far more about accepting who you have become.”

Perhaps you’ve come to this point in our forgiveness journey, and your grief stems not so much from internal scripts or past hurt but simply the direction that your life has gone.

Maybe you had dreams of becoming a PhD researcher, but then you had a kid at age twenty. Or you were excited to travel the world, but an autoimmune disease kept you grounded in your hometown. Or you thought by this point, you’d have the house with the two-car garage, a dog, and 2.5 kids, but you’re still single with no prospect of love in sight.

Life has a way of beating us down and ironing us out. The longer we live, the more our life tends to follow one of two trajectories: one full of peace, integration, gratitude, and wholeness or one full of bitterness, resentment, and regret.

We either become bitter or better, as the saying goes.

Today, I invite you to grieve who you wanted to be. It’s okay to give yourself permission to acknowledge what you hoped for.

You imagined life would be spent on the West Coast, but you’re in the Midwest. You imagined you’d be far more successful in your career than you are. You imagined you’d be married but you’re not.

Not acknowledging these realities is not maturity; it’s avoidance. In order to appreciate what is, we must recognize what is not.

Forgive life for not being fair. Forgive yourself for the risks you did not take. Forgive others for the petty hurts and disagreements that have plagued you.

As you do, you can embrace reality. Sure, life may not look how you imagined it would, but it is the life you are living. And this day, an invitation exists to take one step closer toward or further away from who God has created you to be.