Give Yourself Permission To Grieve - Five Days to Joy When You’re Overlooked

“God blesses those who mourn, for they will be comforted.” (Matthew 5:4, NLT)

Have you ever fallen into the trap of saying, “Well, I really shouldn’t complain because so many others are suffering more than I am.”?

Friend, it’s okay to grieve feeling overlooked.

The truth is, comparing your journey to others is hardly helpful, nor does it alleviate your pain.

The Apostle Peter made the mistake of looking at another’s journey after the resurrection of Jesus. “Peter turned around and saw behind them the disciple Jesus loved—the one who had leaned over to Jesus during supper and asked, ‘Lord, who will betray you?’ Peter asked Jesus, ‘What about him, Lord?’ Jesus replied, ‘If I want him to remain alive until I return, what is that to you? As for you, follow me’” (John 21:20-22, NLT).

Peter forgot that everyone walks their own unique pilgrimage. We cannot control their journey, nor should we spend undue curiosity on another’s fortunes or misfortunes. (Yes, we should ask the Lord if a need of someone is ours to meet—but here I’m talking about comparing our journeys.)

Jesus’ response was simple: Your job is to follow Me. When we look at someone else’s life to negate our own pain or downplay it, we take our eyes off the path Jesus wants us to take toward releasing grief and moving toward healing.

It’s okay to feel bewildered, confused, broken, hurt, traumatized, worried, maligned, betrayed, or confounded. The best gift you can give to Future You is to give yourself permission to feel your emotions as you feel them. Process them in a you-shaped way and to grieve your losses right now in this moment. Acknowledging current stress is how healthy people face life—head on, in the moment.

If someone experiences joy, it doesn’t mean you can’t. If someone is grieving (and you perceive their grief as greater than yours), it doesn’t mean you don’t have legitimate grief.

So take a moment and give yourself permission to be sad. Grab a pen and a journal (or open a doc on your desktop or a note on your phone) and write it all—blessedly uncensored, raw, and real.

Tomorrow, I’ll help you untangle these thoughts and write them out as a prayer.

Your pain is real.

Give yourself permission to process it now.

PRAYER:

Jesus, help me to stop comparing my own sadness to another person’s pain. I acknowledge that feeling overlooked is something important to name and work through. Be with me in my grief. Amen.