Do I Use Straw Or Steel When Presenting Your View? - End the Stalemate

When CEOs of large corporations, or even leaders of nations need help in approaching difficult issues, who do they consult? The Harvard Negotiation Project is the world’s most trusted source in how to effectively bring people together when their division pull them apart. Their mission is to “improve the theory and practice of conflict resolution and negotiation by working on real world conflict intervention, theory building, education and training.” If we listed their résumé, it would take the rest of this chapter. A quick Google search will reveal how much they know what they are talking about. So, when they state what is in their opinion the most important thing we should do when engaging another, we’d be wise to listen.

Curious what it is?

“Repeat what you understood them to have said, phrase it positively from their point of view, making the strength of their case clear.”

In today’s argument culture, many of us have come to expect our positions to be distorted, mocked, or comically simplified. Specifically, we are used to hearing what communication experts have identified as strawman as opposed to steelman arguments. Let’s explore each.

A strawman argument is one in which I listen to your position and then purposely paraphrase it in the weakest possible way. Why would I do that? Because the weakened version is full of obvious holes that are easy to attack. I simply ignore the strong points of your argument and dismantle the aspect of your view I know I can refute.

In contrast, a steelman argument not only takes what a person says and highlights the strengths of the view, but even seeks ways to make the argument stronger. Specifically, a steelman argument is created by asking the following questions:

• What is a fair description of the overall argument being made?
• If I presented their argument back to them, would they agree it was accurate?
• What is the single best piece of evidence this person is presenting to support their view?

In today’s argument culture, we’ve come to expect our views to be belittled or turned into a strawman where strengths of our view are left out. To take time to purposefully listen with the idea of looking for the strengths of your view and present your view with empathy and accuracy is a gift—one that can help us end a stalemate and re-energize a conversation where we can move toward, not away, from each other.

Scripture Passages:

“The first to speak in court sounds right— until the cross-examination begins.” (Proverbs 18:17)

“Let your conversation be gracious and attractive so that you will have the right response for everyone.” (Colossians 4:6)

“Some people make cutting remarks, but the words of the wise bring healing.” (Proverbs 12:18)