The Good Man – No More Mr. Nice Guy - Becoming a DIALED IN Man of God

“For the overseer must be above reproach as God’s steward, not self-willed, not quick-tempered, not addicted to wine, not pugnacious, not fond of sordid gain, but hospitable, loving what is good, sensible, just, devout, self-controlled.” (Titus 1:7-8, NASB1995)

“But realize this, that in the last days difficult times will come. For men will be lovers of self, lovers of money, boastful, arrogant, revilers, disobedient to parents, ungrateful, unholy, unloving, irreconcilable, malicious gossips, without self-control, brutal, haters of good, treacherous, reckless, conceited, lovers of pleasure rather than lovers of God, holding to a form of godliness, although they have denied its power; Avoid such men as these.” (2 Timothy 3:1-5, NASB1995)

Saving Private Ryan is one of my favorite movies. It tracks a group of World War II soldiers on their mission to locate Private James Francis Ryan and bring him home after his three brothers are killed in action. The movie ends with a much older Ryan, standing next to the gravesite of the men who died while saving him. Ryan asks his wife to tell him what all men want to hear:

“Tell me I’ve led a good life.”

“What?”

“Tell me I’m a good man.”

I’m convinced that all men strive to be good. Our souls long to be recognized for some good we have done in life. Many find their identity in work because it’s the one thing they are good at. We long to be called good.

So what does it mean to love good? Is that the same as being nice? No. Goodness is a Christian virtue. Niceness is not.

The word nice is nowhere to be found in the Bible. The word began as a negative term derived from the Latin nescius, meaning “unaware or ignorant.” This sense of “ignorant” carried over into English. For almost a century, nice characterized a stupid, ignorant, or foolish person. It finds its roots in the word ignore.

The nice guy chooses to ignore the evils of this world. Paul Coughlin offers: “Nice people actually oppose good people who rock the boat, even when headed toward God’s will… Nice people cannot and do not contend with injustice and its corresponding evil. Good people do.”

Mr. Nice Guy believes if he keeps his mouth shut, everything will work out. Martin Luther King Jr. said, “the greatest tragedy of this period of social transition was not the strident clamor of the bad people, but the appalling silence of the good people.”

In Titus 1:7-8, we read, “For the overseer must be above reproach…loving what is good.” The Greek word used is philagathos, a compound word from the Greek phileo (“to love”) and agathos (“good”); combined, these words describe a lover of good. But what exactly does good (agathos) mean? According to W. E. Vine, agathos “describes that which…is beneficial in its effect.”

In other words, true goodness comes from a heart like God’s, and it works for the true benefit of others. Note well that when you do something good, it won’t necessarily be nice, and other people may not appreciate the good you have done!

Good men fight against evil, standing diametrically opposed to anything that blocks the path of good. We cannot love something without loathing—hating—anything that opposes it. To love marriage is to hate divorce. To love good is to hate evil. To love God is to hate Satan.

Believers are told, “Do not be overcome by evil, but overcome evil with good” (Romans 12:21). And again to “hate what is evil; cling to what is good” (Romans 12:9). Even Voltaire, a staunch antagonist of Christianity, is thought to have argued “every man is guilty of all the good he did not do.”

Churches are filled today with anonymous men who show up week after week and never do anything but smile nicely and waste space. When they leave, no one notices.

Act where others watch passively. Get out of the anonymous bleachers and into the arena. No more Mr. Nice Guy.

DIAL IT IN:

• Where has being nice become your Achilles’ heel?
• What will you do about it?