It’s All So Unfair - Beyond the Darkness Devotional

While they were in the field, Cain attacked his brother Abel and killed him.

A brilliant physicist trained at MIT and Harvard, Hans grew old and shaky as grandpas do, but it was the ebbing of his mind that hurt the most to watch. Over the years, dementia stole the man his family knew and loved, leaving him needy, confused, and sometimes very cantankerous. For a man who had survived so much as a child refugee during World War II and accomplished so much (several patents bear his name), this disease that corroded Hans’s mind and weakened his body felt supremely unfair.

Alzheimer’s is the seventh leading cause of death in the United States, but it’s not the only “unfair” way to die. Accidents, cancers, and any number of other causes remind us that, however well we live, our ends may be undignified, harsh, or agonizingly painful. Even for those whose lives end peacefully, there runs an undercurrent of frustration. This life is not as it should be.

No sooner had God created Adam and Eve than grief entered the world’s first family. The unfairness of it all strikes us as we read Genesis 4. Young Abel the shepherd faithfully tends his flocks and brings to God the offering he desires. His brother Cain contributes solely to fulfill an obligation. When God determines Abel’s offering is acceptable and Cain’s isn’t, Cain just can’t take it. His neck hair bristles, his temperature rises, and in a fit of anger, he lures his brother into a field and kills him. The first murder. The first innocent victim. The first casualty of death’s terrible unfairness.

Romans 6 tells us that death is the just payment for our sins. We and our first parents chose to follow our own wisdom instead of God’s, and death is the consequence. However, when we grieve our loved one’s death saying that life is “unfair,” I suspect that our cries of unfairness stem from our deep longing for the final and lasting justice of God. As we weep in grief and rail against death’s power, our laments for fairness rise like prayers to the heart of God. Our voices join with the psalmist’s when he cries, “How long, O Lord?” (Psalm 13:1).

Today, dear grieving friend, release any inhibitions that might hold you back from telling God how unfair you feel your loss is. Go ahead and express your longing before the Lord. Let him know how wrong everything is, and ask him to make it right. Cry out with grief and desperate hope, “Come quickly, Lord Jesus!”

The LORD longs to be gracious to you; therefore he will rise up to show you compassion. For the LORD is a God of justice. Blessed are all who wait for him!

O LORD, come back to us! How long will you delay? Take pity on your servants! Satisfy us each morning with your unfailing love, so we may sing for joy to the end of our lives.

A Prayer: God, my person’s death has revealed to me the great unfairness of this life. I see now in ways I’ve never seen before how broken we are and how desperately we need your presence. Jesus, in your mercy, return and make all things new! As I wait for the unfair to become fair, for the wrong to be made right, give me patience and strength to face these days. Remind me that you are not slow to keep your promises. Assure me that you walk beside me as I watch and wait for your return. Come quickly, Lord Jesus! Amen.

An Activity for Today: Mainstream media and social media often compound our sense of life’s unfairness. In grief, we don’t need further reinforcement like that. Our hearts are formed by what we dwell upon. Today, as an exercise in self-care and intentional hopefulness, put on your Sherlock Holmes cap and become a good news investigative journalist for the day. Google “good news” and discover media organizations dedicated to reminding us that life is more than destruction and despair. Grab a colleague at the water cooler and ask her what has gone right in her life lately. Text a friend, “Give me some good news!” As you uncover beauty and goodness around you, thank God for these reminders that he has not forgotten his creation.

A Song to Encourage Your Heart: “How Long?” by The Porter’s Gate