Step Two—finding Your True Identity - 4 Steps to Break Free from Any Addiction

“But now, O Jacob, listen to the LORD who created you. O Israel, the one who formed you says, ‘Do not be afraid, for I have ransomed you. I have called you by name; you are mine.’” (Isaiah 43:1, NLT)

“You made all the delicate, inner parts of my body and knit me together in my mother’s womb. Thank you for making me so wonderfully complex! Your workmanship is marvelous—how well I know it.” (Psalm 139:13-14, NLT)

Who are you? What are you? Really.

I remember asking that question while giving a talk and someone yelled out, “I’m a child of God!”

“Wrong,” I said. *Gasp* But before you click out of this devotional—let me explain.

When I ask who or what you are, I’m not asking about your general identity. Yes, if you love and follow Jesus and trust he is the only way to eternal life, you are a child of God. That is your general identity and one gloriously true of all Christians.

But I’m asking about your specific identity, how God has uniquely wired and called you. That specific identity is also your true identity.

Why does it matter? Because if you aren’t living from your specific (your true) identity—you’re likely floundering, and maybe feeling a little lost. And when that happens, we tend to escape or look for ways to cope. And when escape and coping take over—addiction isn’t far behind.

Your life (including your vocation) should be an outflow of walking in your true identity. Your true identity, I’ve found, is the intersection of three things: your characteristics, your purpose, and your calling. All as defined and given by God.

• Characteristics: These include your physical attributes as well as your personality. How you are wired and function. Your gifts and talents.
• Purpose: As mentioned above, your purpose is general. It’s defined as a child of God and it gives you guardrails. In military terms, think of it as the oath of office. Every service member, no matter which branch, has the same general purpose: to protect and defend the country.
• Calling: Calling is much more detailed than purpose. It’s that thing that burns within you. The thing you were meant to do with the rest of your life. The thing that makes you feel fulfilled. The thing that just feels (and is) right. The thing that God has told you to do and that everything else just seems to point to. Once again in military terms, it’s not only the branch you serve in, but the job you’re given that leads to the specific missions you carry out.

If you press into those three things, you will find your true identity. And when you find your true identity, whole life alignment, flourishing, and peace become possible.

The Devil loves it when you are not walking in your true identity. This is because walking in a false identity has warning signs. Your decisions are off. Your life is off. You’re discontent. You lack trust in God. And when you live your life this way, you are way more susceptible to attack. Those who are living in their true identity and who are abiding in Christ (step one) stand up to temptation, get to the root causes of their issues, and battle their addictions.

Satan is working overtime to thwart your true identity. He does not want you—under any circumstances—to know, and especially not to embrace, your true identity because of what it means for you and for the Kingdom of God.

That’s why I believe with everything in me that if you want to not just survive but thrive—not just run away but run toward something—not just exist but become—then you have to discover your identity. Not your general identity, but your specific one—the specific one given to you by the Creator of the universe. Once you start living out of that identity, life becomes about so much more than just drinking or not drinking, more than counting days of sobriety, and more than a list of what you can’t do.

So how do you find your true identity? I know this is going to sound simple, but here it goes: You fervently seek God for it. And how do you do that? You abide in Christ.

An author and friend named Jamie Winship has written an entire book, Living Fearless, on this topic. He offers practical steps I want you to take today to discover your identity:

1. Identify false identities. Ask God to reveal them to you today in prayer.
2. Ask for your true identity. Don’t be afraid to wait. Be quiet. Listen.
3. Look for confirmation. Once you get a word or phrase about your identity, bring it to others you know and trust and ask them about it.

I’m not saying your true identity will become clear instantly (although sometimes we already have an inkling of what it is). I promise you, when you find your true identity, you’ll know. It’s like the warmth of the sun shining on a cold day and you’ll want to shout: “This is who I am!”