Step Three—practicing Radical Vulnerability - 4 Steps to Break Free from Any Addiction

“People who conceal their sins will not prosper, but if they confess and turn from them, they will receive mercy.” (Proverbs 28:13, NLT)

“Confess your sins to each other and pray for each other so that you may be healed. The earnest prayer of a righteous person has great power and produces wonderful results.” (James 5:16, NLT)

“But if we confess our sins to him, he is faithful and just to forgive us our sins and to cleanse us from all wickedness.” (1 John 1:9, NLT)

My young son has a lot of things: energy, charisma, and a big vocabulary to name a few. But for most of his toddler and elementary years, he had something else: chronic ear infections.

Almost every month like clockwork, he would develop a low-grade fever, his nose would start running, and a thick substance would emerge from his ear canals. Which of course led to him being on a lot of different antibiotics. And as he got older, the doctor needed to turn to more powerful versions of these antibiotics to treat his ear infections. Even now it is guaranteed we’ll need the most powerful prescription possible.

Why is that? Well, it’s because his body has gotten used to the regular antibiotics. So much so that they don’t work anymore. Now we have to call in the “big guns.”

Friend, our sin natures are the same way when it comes to vulnerability—that practice of opening up about our struggles.

Pop psychology has done a great job of getting us used to being “vulnerable.” But the problem is that we now know how to fake it. We know how to say just enough to make it look like we’re being open, honest, and vulnerable, while actually holding back.

And when we hold back, that’s where our issues fester and grow. That’s why we need radical vulnerability.

See, radical vulnerability has another name. The Bible talks about it a lot—it’s called true confession. And when we practice true confession something happens to us. As James 5:16 says, we are “healed.” That’s a really important word: “healed.” It doesn’t say we get peace. It doesn’t say we are made whole—it says we are “healed.”

I love when science catches up to the Bible. In my book, Confessions of a Christian Alcoholic, I explain how research has now found that when we talk about the horrible things done to us or our struggles, we literally experience better physical health. No, really! You know what that means? When we practice radical vulnerability and engage in confession, we experience healing.

James 5:16 was right all along.

I’ve sat in plenty of men’s groups where we go around the circle and someone “admits” to struggling with lust. And so many times, that’s where the conversation ends. The “confessor” doesn’t go any further, and we don’t ask him to. Everyone’s conscience is assuaged. He feels good, we feel good, and we move on. But the problem with this is that healing isn’t actually taking place. He stays stuck in the same pattern he’s always been stuck in.

But if that same man were to practice radical vulnerability, he’d actually find freedom. How? If he would open up about exactly what his struggle looks like, then we could help him make war on it! But too often, the sad reality is that we don’t really want to be free. We like our sins because they make us feel good. They’re fun or they help us escape from something that isn’t fun. So we keep them as pets and pretend to be vulnerable while holding back.

Are you tired of doing what you don’t want to do? Do you want to kick this habit? Then I’m telling you, you need to start practicing radical vulnerability. It’s the only way.

So, what does that look like? Well, this week I want you to find someone you can be radically vulnerable with. Go one step further with them than you’re comfortable going. I’m not asking you to post your deepest, darkest secrets on social media. No, I just want you to go one step further. And eventually, take another step. And another. And soon, as you confess your sins, struggles, and issues, you will start finding freedom. Healing. Because they start losing their power.

How do I know? It’s right there in the book of James. Science confirms it, even. And I’ve seen it work.