Step One—abiding In Christ - 4 Steps to Break Free from Any Addiction

“I am the true grapevine, and my Father is the gardener. He cuts off every branch of mine that doesn’t produce fruit, and he prunes the branches that do bear fruit so they will produce even more. You have already been pruned and purified by the message I have given you. Remain in me, and I will remain in you. For a branch cannot produce fruit if it is severed from the vine, and you cannot be fruitful unless you remain in me.” (John 15:1-4, NLT)

“You have patiently suffered for me without quitting. ‘But I have this complaint against you. You don’t love me or each other as you did at first! Look how far you have fallen! Turn back to me and do the works you did at first. If you don’t repent, I will come and remove your lampstand from its place among the churches.’” (Revelation 2:3-5, NLT)

In the first few months of my sobriety, there was a question that haunted me. Maybe it’s a question you’ve asked yourself too: “How did I get here?”

I’ll be honest, we don’t have enough space for me to answer that completely, but I want to give you one of the most important answers:

I abandoned my first love.

See, I grew up in the church. I was baptized at 8 years old. I went to a Christian college. I made sacrifices for Jesus and was obedient to him in many ways. (Many, not all.) But when I entered the hardest stretch of my life from 2021 to 2023, instead of turning toward him I reached for a cheap substitute to escape my problems: alcohol.

I replaced the Creator with the creation.

A lot of us do this. The historic church in Ephesus did. In fact, in Revelation 2, Jesus names many good things the congregation has done and is doing, and yet they are still at risk of being spit out because, “You don’t love me or each other as you did at first!”

So how do we make sure we love Jesus as we ought to? We abide in him. If addiction is ultimately an issue of misordered priorities (worshiping idols), then recovery is getting things back in order. And getting things back in order begins with abiding in Christ.

See, abiding in Christ brings us closer to Jesus. And do you know what happens when we’re closer to Jesus? Our affections change. The things that consumed us—especially those unhealthy ones—start to “grow strangely dim” as the old hymn says. We also can’t ignore where we fall short. Our imperfections become clearer; the light exposes the darkness. Abiding in Christ reveals the junk in our lives—and how deeply it affects us and those around us.

But there’s another important aspect at play here. Gospel-centered recovery isn’t just about stopping something— not drinking, not binging, not looking at porn. It’s about pursuing what truly satisfies. It’s about killing and filling—putting sin to death and filling our lives with something better. I like to say “Shoot for Jesus and get sobriety thrown in.” You can shoot for sobriety and get it—millions have. But when you shoot for Jesus, you gain far more! You get the fullest, most flourishing life now and for eternity.

Sobriety is a good goal. But it can’t be the ultimate goal. Anything we make an idol of (even sobriety) will ultimately disappoint us. I know many miserable sober people—they’ve found sobriety but life really hasn’t gotten much better. But when sobriety comes as a byproduct of something greater, life becomes far more fulfilling.

So what does it actually look like to abide? It looks like truly spending time with Jesus—in conversation and communion with God. I’m not just talking about a “quiet time” here, although that’s one way to do it. I’m talking about ongoing and intentional conversation, meditation, and worship with Jesus.

Walking down the hallway at work.
During church.
In your car.
On a walk.

Simply put, abiding is daily dependence on God for daily guidance from God. It isn’t about thinking your way out of your problems; it’s about listening your way through them—trusting that what God is telling you is enough. And how do you know it’s God talking? As a mentor once told me, the voice of God is often counterintuitive, countercultural, or awkward.

So here’s my challenge to you: carve out three 5-minute blocks today to spend time with God. Just be with him. I find it helpful to journal—writing down my thoughts, emotions, and questions. And then I pause and listen. I’ll even write what he seems to be speaking to me as well. At least one of these blocks should be spent in Scripture. I don’t care where you read. God speaks through God’s Word.

I’m telling you, as you practice spending time with God (which will take effort) you will start to change. You can’t not. I guarantee it.